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Chainsaw Monkey: a love story about a monkey and his chainsaw
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From the mouth of babes... and clueless pundits.
If you haven't seen this yet, you deserve to. I don't know much about Chris Matthews or his views and history, but it's clear that he has completely schooled Kevin James. Not the actor, the asshole pundit. I would say that he shamed James, but it appears that the man is so delusional he may not realize he should be ashamed.



A word of advice to the irrational and ignorant, especially among those in the field of punditry or politics. Learn some history. Not all of it. Just a little bit. Preferably the bits you intend to talk about or reference. If you do that, not only will you look less like a complete douche bag, but maybe you'll save the rest of the world a little bit of terror and fear by realizing that many of your bright ideas have already occurred to other people, and they sucked then too.
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Well, so much for Texas
For those of you that don't know, I have this thing about ants. They completely freak me out. I get a little nutty when they're around. I spray, I smash, I hyperventilate a little bit, and I tend to yell a bit during the entire thing. I just hate ants.

When I read this morning about a new ant infestation in Houston, I got the heebie jeebies. When the article mentioned that there were billions of them, that they seemed to be resistant to most pesticides, had multiple queens per colony, an affection for electronics and were likely too numerous to eradicate now, I started to perspire.

It's clear now, I can never visit Texas ever again. I'm sure my sister will be sorry to hear this, but she'll finish school soon hopefully and decide to relocate someplace that isn't infested with the one creature that drives me to irrational fear and hatred.
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BRING IT
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Monday Poll: Rock Band
Poll #1186594 Monday Poll: Rock Band
Open to: All, results viewable to: All

I have played Rock Band.

View Answers

Yes.
21 (50.0%)

No.
9 (21.4%)

I am in a real band and have no need for your silly games.
0 (0.0%)

I have not, but I very much would like to.
7 (16.7%)

It seems kinda like a more pathetic and sober version of karaoke, so I'm not really interested.
5 (11.9%)

The best console to play Rock Band is...

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Xbox 360
12 (31.6%)

Playstation 3
6 (15.8%)

Wii
2 (5.3%)

a stage, in front of an audience, with real instruments.
13 (34.2%)

Uh. Is that like, some kind of, video game?
5 (13.2%)

The best element of Rock Band is...

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the singing.
2 (4.9%)

the guitar.
0 (0.0%)

the drums.
2 (4.9%)

the bass.
2 (4.9%)

the downloadable content.
3 (7.3%)

doing all of the above with your friends.
20 (48.8%)

I really wouldn't know, and I have no real desire to even participate in this "game."
12 (29.3%)

Proficiency with the instruments/controllers in Rock Band can relate to proficiency with real instruments.

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Yes, but only with the guitar.
1 (2.5%)

Yes, but only with the drums.
7 (17.5%)

Yes, but only with the singing.
4 (10.0%)

Yes, but only with the singing and drums.
16 (40.0%)

No. They are all so fundamentally different from the instruments they represent that there is no correlation between proficiency in one and proficiency in the other.
6 (15.0%)

Don't be stupid, it's a video game, it has no practical application.
4 (10.0%)

STOP PLAYING THIS SILLY GAME AND LEARN HOW TO PLAY A REAL INSTRUMENT! IT'S SO EASY! I LEARNED TO PLAY GUITAR IN ONLY 15 SHORT YEARS AND NOW I PLAY FOR MY COUSINS BAND DOING SEMI REGULAR WEDDING GIGS.
2 (5.0%)

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Delusional politics
This morning, while reading that Hillary Clinton has vowed to not drop out of the race "until there's a nominee," I had something of a revelation. For more than a decade, the world has wondered why she stayed with Bill after the scandal with Lewinsky became public. It was even a matter of some speculation during the primary campaign. Could she really be a feminist if she stayed with a husband who cheated? If she couldn't manager her own house, how could she manage a country? There was speculation that she stayed out of fear, humiliation, desire for power, and other reasons, some more ridiculous than others. What I realized though, is that none of those were the real reason.

The real reason is; she's completely delusional.

I can't tell if this is just how she reacts to stress, or if it's one symptom of a larger breakdown. She's been increasingly erratic of late. During an ABC interview with George Stephanopoulos she was challenged on her ludicrous gas tax holiday proposal. Stephanopoulos asked Clinton, "can you name an economist who thinks this makes sense?" Her response, delivered in a hokey assumed southern accent no less, was "Well, I'll tell you what, I'm not going to put my lot in with economists."

What? Really? Because those fancy high falutin economists are just putting on airs and don't really understand the economy? And seriously? Now, I'll admit that of late, some people who do work in the economy haven't made the best decisions. It wasn't economists who got us into this sub-prime mortgage nonsense though, it was greedy speculators and lenders backed by a weak federal policy machine. And what's with the pandering accent? Are you going to start complaining about Obama's monocle and top hat next? Will you literally do anything in your attempt to slander your opponent and win the nomination?

At least you wouldn't slyly imply that honkys are the only really important Americans, and marginalize non-caucasians. Oh wait. You did.

"Senator Obama's support among working, hard-working Americans, white Americans, is weakening again, and how whites in both states who had not completed college were supporting me." Clinton chose to defend her words by digging this hole even deeper. "These are the people you have to win if you're a Democrat in sufficient numbers to actually win the election... Everybody knows that."

Really? Everybody? Are you sure it's not just you who thinks that? Well, you and probably some Republicans.
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Poll #1182809 Monday Poll: Music
Open to: All, results viewable to: All

The best band ever is...

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not the one you were thinking of.
24 (70.6%)

one that you haven't heard of before.
3 (8.8%)

not one that you like.
6 (17.6%)

this little local band that hasn't made it yet, and when they do, they'll sell out and stop being good.
1 (2.9%)

The quality of music is...

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a matter of subjective opinion and preference.
24 (70.6%)

quantifiable scientific fact.
1 (2.9%)

directly proportional to record sales and radio play time.
1 (2.9%)

Wait. Record? What the hell is a record?
0 (0.0%)

something that everyone else is always getting wrong.
8 (23.5%)

Select the best, using science and, if necessary, alchemy.

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Orange Juice Jones
0 (0.0%)

Toni Basil
1 (3.1%)

Falco
0 (0.0%)

M/A/R/R/S
3 (9.4%)

Men Without Hats
2 (6.2%)

Carl Douglas
0 (0.0%)

Deee Lite
2 (6.2%)

Buggles
1 (3.1%)

The Vapors
0 (0.0%)

Morris Minor and the Majors
0 (0.0%)

The Knack
2 (6.2%)

Lou Bega
0 (0.0%)

The Rembrandts
1 (3.1%)

Chumbawamba
4 (12.5%)

Survivor
0 (0.0%)

Johann Pachelbel
2 (6.2%)

Gerardo
0 (0.0%)

Soft Cell
3 (9.4%)

Divinyls
0 (0.0%)

Dexys Midnight Runners
5 (15.6%)

Right Said Fred
2 (6.2%)

Los Del Rio
1 (3.1%)

Baha Men
0 (0.0%)

Vanilla Ice
3 (9.4%)

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Everything2, what's left to say?
A few days ago, or maybe as long ago as a week it's hard to tell, I had my admin rights and powers at Everything2 removed. For some of you, this will mean something, and for others, it won't. The short history is that E2 was an ambitious project started nearly a decade or more ago by some talented people. It was a website, where one could post writings on a variety of topics and interact with the others involved using a rudimentary browser based chat function.

cut for talking about E2, something few people have any stomach for anymore. )
In the end, I think I'm okay with the whole thing. E2 was a very special place for a very special time. All things change though, and that change is inevitable. Sometimes it's good and sometimes it's bad. I'm not going to speculate on which way this went, but I'm not sure it's a change I like. I'm still a little bothered that there appear to be so many involved who don't seem to understand or realize that things aren't really looking up. Some seem so lost in their insistence that Everything is okay. Even as their ankles get wet, they exclaim that the boat isn't sinking, and when all the rats jump overboard, they claim that the pest control is finally working.

Standard operating procedure at E2, an unwritten law of the land, has been that you post your parting shot on the site. Whether it's a Dear John letter, or a sweeping condemnation of the site and its power structure, people seem to expect that one last "Go To Hell!" I'm not doing that. Mostly I'm not doing it because I haven't really left any more than I had stopped being an admin. I'm not a fled user. I'm a guy who has better ways to spend his time these days. I'm a guy who moved on. I'm a guy who will still visit and probably still consider himself a part of the community, as stunted and dysfunctional as it can be. Partially though, I'm not posting this on E2 because, seriously, who would read it? It's like a ghost town these days.
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10 degrees off center
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Brought to you by Tuesday morning and the letter M

Your LJ Slut Stats!
Out of your 167 friends, percentages you have:
met


53.29%
hugged
11.37%
dated


0%
kissed


0%
seen shirtless


5.38%
seen naked


2.39%
had net sex


0%
made out with


0%
had oral sex


0%
fucked


0%
Get your LJ Slut Stats!

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MOnday Poll: Traffic and fuel
Poll #1179026 Monday Poll: Traffic and fuel
Open to: All, results viewable to: All

I would support legislation that applied a tax to the use of private passenger vehicles in excess of X gross tonnage in urban environments exceeding X amount of population density.

View Answers

Yes.
37 (88.1%)

No.
3 (7.1%)

I am against all increases in taxation, regardless of the reason, need, or justification.
0 (0.0%)

Taxation as punishment for consumer excess is not only ineffective, but UnAmerican.
2 (4.8%)

I would support legislation that levied dramatically increased fines for moving violations.

View Answers

Yes.
11 (26.2%)

No.
12 (28.6%)

Only if speeding was omitted.
10 (23.8%)

Traffic enforcement should only be addressed one all our other criminal problems have been rectified.
8 (19.0%)

Taxation as punishment for criminal infraction is not only ineffective, but UnAmerican.
1 (2.4%)

Is the short term impact of erratic and dangerous driving more, or less, hazardous than the long term danger of reckless fuel consumption?

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More.
5 (11.6%)

Less.
5 (11.6%)

About the same.
3 (7.0%)

That's like comparing Apples and Time Machines.
30 (69.8%)

The government should do something about fuel costs.

View Answers

Yes.
3 (7.0%)

No.
5 (11.6%)

Maybe if fuel costs in the US were more equitable to global averages (higher) then people would stop buying those ridiculously huge SUVs and using them as daily commuter vehicles.
24 (55.8%)

Sure, because the government has done such a good job of regulating the mortgage industry.
11 (25.6%)

Ethanol production from corn is...

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a good idea. Even though it has less caloric return than petroleum distillation, corn is a renewable resource.
1 (2.3%)

a bad idea, because it yields fewer returned calories than petroleum distillation.
2 (4.7%)

is a bad idea, because the corn subsidies introduced by the Nixon administration are economically harmful and have aligned America with a farming monoculture that is hazardous.
19 (44.2%)

is a bad idea, because ethanol can be produced more economically from other crops, like sugar cane, and algae.
21 (48.8%)